Scam Overview
In long-distance relationship scams, scammers create fake profiles on dating websites, social media, or other online platforms. They form an emotional bond with their target, building trust over time with conversations and shared stories.
Once trust is established, they introduce financial requests, often disguised as emergencies, travel costs, or personal needs. The goal is to make the target feel responsible for helping, even though the scammer never intends to meet or fulfil any promises made.
Long-distance relationship scams are a form of romance scam where fraudsters initiate relationships over the internet with people they often target for emotional and financial exploitation. Scammers typically pose as someone living in a distant or remote area to explain why they can’t meet in person immediately.
Common Tactics & Techniques
Communication Methods
Scammers often use dating sites, social media platforms, and sometimes even email to contact potential victims. They may also continue the conversation through messaging apps to maintain a more personal touch, making their story more convincing.
Psychological Triggers
Scammers use emotions like love, empathy, and fear of loss to manipulate their victims. They build strong connections by claiming shared values or expressing deep feelings.
Once they believe the target is invested in the relationship, they will introduce a fabricated crisis, like a medical emergency, that requires financial help. The scammer’s plea is designed to trigger guilt, sympathy, or urgency, compelling the target to send money.
Fraudulent Actions
Typical tactics include sending fake photos, sharing fake stories, or even staging fake video calls to make the relationship appear genuine.
Scammers might say things like:
“I can’t wait to meet you, but I need a bit of help to make it happen”
“I feel so close to you; I’ve never felt this way before.”
These tactics are intended to foster trust and create a sense of obligation.
Red Flags and Warning Signs
Signs of a Scam: Long-distance relationship scams often involve certain red flags, like reluctance to meet in person, repeated requests for financial assistance, or stories that seem too dramatic or exaggerated. Requests for gift cards, wire transfers, or cryptocurrency can also be warning signs, as these methods are harder to trace.
Check For Inconsistencies: Scammers may avoid video calls or only communicate at certain times, claiming to be in a remote area or restricted by work. Their language may be overly formal or generic, and they might avoid specific questions about their background or details that could reveal their true identity.
Romance Scam Examples
In a common scenario, a scammer might claim to be working overseas and can’t visit due to work commitments or financial constraints. Over time, they fabricate situations like an emergency medical expense or needing help with travel costs. The victim, emotionally invested, may feel compelled to help despite doubts.
Messages or Calls: Scammers often use statements like, “I’ve never met someone like you, and I feel a strong connection,” or “I need your help with something urgent; it’s embarrassing, but you’re the only one I can trust.” These messages are crafted to create a sense of intimacy and urgency, making it hard for victims to refuse.
Potential Impact & Consequences
Financial Losses: Victims of long-distance relationship scams can lose significant amounts of money, as scammers continue to request funds under various pretenses. Victims often end up drained financially, having sent multiple payments before realising they’ve been scammed.
Emotional Impact: These scams cause deep emotional harm, as victims may feel betrayed or humiliated after realising the truth. Scammers invest time to build emotional connections, so victims may feel grief similar to the end of a real relationship.
Identity Theft: Some scammers ask for personal information, such as ID or banking details, claiming they need it for travel or other arrangements. This can lead to identity theft, where scammers use the victim’s information to commit further fraud.
Who Do Scammers Target?
Long-distance relationship scams often target individuals who may feel isolated or vulnerable, including older adults, widows, and young professionals. Anyone seeking connection online is a potential target, but scammers may focus on those they perceive as financially secure.
People who are seeking companionship, particularly online, may be less critical and more trusting of someone who appears to share their values. Scammers exploit this openness and use emotional appeals to bypass logical thinking, making victims feel connected and responsible for the scammer’s supposed troubles.
Prevention & Protection Methods
Be cautious with anyone you meet online who shares excessive personal details too soon or avoids direct questions. Refuse any requests for money, especially if they seem rushed or emotional. Verify the identity of anyone claiming to have a personal connection before engaging further.
Technological Defenses: Use privacy settings on social media and dating apps to limit who can contact you. Avoid sharing personal information publicly and consider using apps with verified profiles or that provide additional layers of security.
Behavioral Tips: Always approach new online relationships with caution. Be sceptical of anyone who seems too eager to establish a romantic relationship without meeting in person. Trust your instincts; if something feels off, it likely is.
Steps To Take If You’ve Been Targeted
If you suspect that you are being targeted by a scam, it’s crucial to act swiftly to protect your finances, personal information, and online security. Scammers rely on speed and emotional manipulation to achieve their goals, so staying calm and alert can help you avoid falling victim.
The first step is to stop all communication with the potential scammer. Cease any interactions, whether through phone calls, emails, or messages, and avoid clicking on any links or attachments they may have sent, as these could contain malware. Next, secure your accounts and report the suspicious activity. Consider taking these steps:
- Change Your Passwords: Update passwords for your online accounts, especially if you’ve shared any sensitive information with the scammer.
- Contact Your Bank: If you shared financial information or made a payment, alert your bank or credit card provider immediately.
- Run a Security Scan: Use antivirus software to scan your device for any malware that may have been installed by interacting with the scammer.
- Report the Scam: Report the scam to relevant authorities (such as Action Fraud, the FTC, or other local agencies) to help them track fraudulent activities.
Once you’ve taken action to protect your accounts and report the incident, seek out support if needed. Falling victim to a scam can be distressing, and many individuals feel embarrassed or ashamed, which is normal. Remember that scammers are professionals who use sophisticated tactics designed to exploit human emotions. Speaking to a counsellor or a support group for scam victims can help you process your experience and reduce emotional stress.
Finally, stay informed about new scams and best practices for online safety. Scams are constantly evolving, and understanding common tactics will help you stay vigilant in the future. Use reliable resources and consumer protection websites to learn about the latest scam warnings and recommendations for staying safe online.
Helpful Resources
Many organisations offer support for scam victims, including emotional counselling to help recover from the psychological impact. Consider reaching out if you need help processing the experience.
Other Resources